Change is a central feature of life
and it is always guaranteed. Things will always change. It can be exhilarating,
frightening, exhausting, or relieving.
From the moment we are born,
we begin to change. Everything around us is in a constant state of changing. We
don’t notice these changes because most of them are gradual.
It is the sudden changes, the
abrupt changes that can throw us off course, upset us, make us happy, and make
us want to fight and scream or laugh and cry.
Some people say that they
don’t like change. There are some changes that I don’t like either, but I have found that instead of fighting change, if we flow with it, life can be so much
simpler. The tension we feel while we are going through change is what upsets
us. If we accept the change, and relax and go with it, the tension goes away
and we can find peace. Easier said than done, I know, but it does help.
I have gone through a lot of
changes in my life. Some have been good and some have been painful. But every
change that has come into my life has made me a stronger and more compassionate
person. I find it easier to understand and care for others because of some of
the tough changes I have dealt with.
I can hear people saying,
“Yeah, you can say that. You have no idea what I’m going through!” That is
true. I have no idea what you are going through. But there are others going
through what you are going through. And there are others who are going through
far worse than what you are going through. We are never alone. Everyone suffers
in their lives. It is our ideas that we suffer alone and no one can understand
that causes us the most pain sometimes.
The hardest lessons in our
lives have the power to destroy us or strengthen us. The choice is ours. We can
either let them beat us, or stand up and never give up. Always move onward and
upward. Every day there are new challenges for us and new opportunities for us
to learn and be better people.
The most amazing change in my
life was when I started seeing the world differently. Most of my life it seemed
that all I could see was the pain and the ugliness in the world. Slowly,
gently, that changed while I was living in New York and spending a lot of time
wandering around the city alone, taking pictures, watching people and talking
to strangers.
When I first arrived in New
York, I was disappointed. At that time, New York looked dirty and ugly to me. People
were rude. There were homeless people everywhere. There was trash piled up on
the sidewalk that smelled so bad. The subways smelled nasty because too many
people were using them as a toilet. I couldn’t believe that this was the place
of my dreams.
Wandering the streets of New
York, taking pictures and talking to people changed the way I saw things. I
started seeing beauty in little things around me. I saw beauty in the faces of
many of the homeless people that I saw every day and I made a few friends with
some of them also. When we go inside of ourselves and look at the world through
the eyes of God, we change and the way we see the world also changes. It is a
matter of choice. We choose how we look at things.
One day I experienced this
seeing in an amazing way. I had decided to attend an evening service at a
church I was attending at that time. I was planning to go to the bank and pick
up some cash, have dinner at my favorite diner near Central Park and then head
over to the church.
I made my trip to the bank
and headed over to the diner. When I arrived at the diner, I was disappointed that
a woman was sitting in my usual place at the counter, but I chose another seat
close to her.
I ordered my food and started
a conversation with the lady. We talked about a lot of things. Life, politics,
religion, cats. It was a comfortable conversation. Then things changed. Our
conversation changed and my vision changed. She started talking about the
homeless and how hard it was to find work after the age of 50. As she spoke, I
noticed the dirt on her hands. I noticed that her hair and clothes were also
dirty. And I noticed that she had two cats in carriers that she was carrying
around with her. I hadn’t seen any of these things while we were talking in the
beginning of our conversation.
I had finished my dinner and
I was getting ready to pay my bill. When I opened my wallet, I saw the money
that I had just withdrawn from the bank. Something told me to give it to her,
and I did. Her smile and the look of shock were priceless. She told me that I
was one of the nicest people she had ever met. I told her it wasn’t me, God was
watching over her.
I left the diner and headed
to the church. I didn’t feel like I had done anything great. I was feeling bad
that I couldn’t do more. When I arrived at the church, I saw a friend. I told
him what had happened and he told me, “Don’t worry, you did what you could at
the time. Sometimes that is all we can do.”
I have always felt a strong
urge that I wanted to try and save the world. But I only have so much power and
others have to take responsibility for their lives. It’s not easy for me to let
go of that urge to save the world, but sometimes I think we have to surrender a
little. We give what we can and we pray for all.
© Pamela
Sawyer, 2012
