When I was younger I learned in church that God forgave me for my sins. I learned that we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves and I learned that we should forgive others.
They never did go into a lot of detail when they were talking about forgiveness. I think they missed a few points along the way that would have helped me. They never did mention that we should also forgive ourselves.
Like many people I had a number of heartbreaks in my life. I think I always felt a bit wounded because I didn’t feel like the people I loved really understood me. I don’t even know if they tried to understand me.
I carried around my hurts from the past within myself. I didn’t know what else to do. Nobody had taught me how to let go of them. Writing about them helped some but they were still there.
When I was studying the Bible for the umpteenth time a few years ago I was reading about Jesus and the words “he felt compassion for the crowd” stood out. I started thinking about that compassion. I wondered who he had compassion for and the answer came to me that he felt compassion for everyone. He didn’t just feel compassion for the good people in the crowd.
Then I started thinking about my mother’s second husband. For years I felt like I was justified in not forgiving him. Then I started thinking about what had happened in his childhood that could have made him such an angry and violent person. When I had that picture in my mind, it was the first time I felt compassion for him and it was then that I found that I could forgive him.
We aren’t justified to hold grudges against anyone in our lives. We are supposed to forgive just as we are forgiven.
I know that there are many that will think they are justified in hating and being angry at someone who has hurt them, but we are never justified in hating or holding on to anger. “To Err is Human…To Forgive Divine.”
It isn’t easy forgiving those that we think have hurt us so bad there is no way we can forgive. There are times when I still make a list of people I’m forgiving and I always include the ones who have hurt me the most.
There are times when I also include God on that list. Some people get indignant when I say that but I would like to ask who of us hasn’t held something against God at one time or another. I know he doesn’t need my forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person. Forgiveness is for us. When we forgive and let go of the pain, anger and sorrow that we carry around with us, that is when we find real freedom. It is like a huge weight being lifted off of your shoulders and your heart and that is when the healing begins.
© Pamela Sawyer, 2012
very glad to say this,iam very proud of u my RB
ReplyDeleteThanks RD :)
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